I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
