I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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