Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you will always have a special place in my vag
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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