I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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