I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
