We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
