WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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