Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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