the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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