That's when you crack a 10am beer
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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