4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't turn off my feet"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
