2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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