If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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