So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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