is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
