I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
