do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
