its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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