words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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