i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
