I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
