we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
