he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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