My Higher Power is John Stamos
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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