The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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