Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize