why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
