He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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