fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize