I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
