Christians are straight up FREAKS
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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