Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
