Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
