I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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