I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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