maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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