even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
