I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
