I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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