My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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