Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
