i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
