you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My bed smells like the plague
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
