dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
