accomplished twins. life is a go
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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