hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
