Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
