Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
