escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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