She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
