porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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