I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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