nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
