yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
