google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
