Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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