I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
