I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm passing your future prison.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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