I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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