Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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