The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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