He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
