her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
