Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
