she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
