a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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