Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
